“Dear Ashly,

This essay does an excellent job identifying the major differences between Kasey Altman and Tanya Lewis’s approaches and explaining why each one’s choices suit their genre, audience, purpose, etc. 

One suggestion I have to make the essay even stronger is to include more specific examples from each text to illustrate what you mean. Kasey’s “happy tears” is a great specific example of her emotional appeal – in contrast, how does Tanya pull the reader in? What specific sources or phrases let you know she’s going for a logos- and ethos-based appeal? With this kind of close reading, you can shine a light on even the smallest choices an author makes.

You might find, if you add more text, that some paragraphs need to be broken up – as a general rule, make sure every sentence in the paragraph relates back to first one, and if it doesn’t, that’s a good place to start a new one. I’ve indicated one place above where this might apply.

Great job overall – happy to discuss further as you revise!”

Grace Kearney